Stupid Yarn Stash Purchases I Have Made

Like all you other yarn folk out there, last month I participated in Local Yarn Store Day. I may have had a little “accident” there to the detriment of my stash. Swept up in the heat of the moment, I bought a sweater quantity of handpainted fingering-weight yarn. It’s beautiful, with pink and purple and all the unicorn colors I love. It wasn’t until I got home that I realized what I’d done.

yarn stash

This will not end well.

Handpainted yarn. So beautiful in the skein; so clown-barfy knitted up. Something happens in the process of winding it into a ball that changes it from a beautiful rainbow of colors to a bad acid flashback. Also, a fingering-weight sweater? What was I thinking? Did I want this to be the Sweater of Drudgery? Size 3 needles are not meant for that much knitting.

So now it lives in my stash, with other regrettable purchases:

Random Oddball Skeins

Ooooh, I’m only $7 from free shipping! I’ll just poke around the sale section and buy two skeins of a discontinued yarn that isn’t enough to make anything and will be impossible to get more of! That definitely won’t live in my stash forever, taking up space and mocking my poor life choices.

yarn stash

Colorful YarnThis represents a lot of “free” shipping.

Braids of Fiber

It’s so gorgeous and fluffy in the braid, but then you have to spin it. Being a casual part-time spinner, my technique isn’t the most consistent, so I never know what weight the final yarn will be. However, I can be sure of one thing: it is never enough for whatever I want to do with it. (Fiber also has two stash-lives: first as fiber, then again as yarn.)

yarn stash

Why can’t it just spin itself?

Festival Yarns

This is my one chance to get a one-of-a-kind handspun bulky sparkle yarn! Sure, there are only 50 yards, but that’s enough to make a headband or a pair of mitts, right? (Pro tip: No. Buy two.)

White Cobweb-weight Yarn

Seriously, self? Are you really going to knit a wedding-ring shawl? Especially in white? Doubly especially because you have a black cat? It’s going to be covered in cat hair before it’s even fully cast on. Wedding-ring shawls are also a million stitches with giant lace charts and require more focus than your hummingbird-on-amphetamines brain can handle.

I appreciate the aspiration, but this will never be me.

What regrettable yarn purchases have you made?

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