All Hail the Groundhog, Fan of Sweaters
Do we truly know what motivates the groundhog in his annual weather report? Folklore tells us it’s his shadow that dictates his decision-making. Here at Interweave, we suspect this is false.
We hooked into the groundhog’s PR machine at Groundhog.org, and discovered that the tradition of shadow-spotting to determine the length of winter has been happening since 1887. But within these many years of predictions, it appears that around 90% of the time, it’s always six more weeks of winter.
Some of you may channel hatred for this bossy varmint, with all of his weather predicting nonsense. But we imagine that the groundhog is simply self-serving. He wants more winter, because he wants more time to make sweaters. That’s right, folks, the groundhog (or marmot, as we call him in the Rocky Mountain West), is a maker.
He’s down there in his burrow, tackling projects with true passion. This burrow can be anywhere from 8 to 66 feet (2 to 20 meters) long, with many exits and numerous chambers.
You mean to tell us there’s no yarn stash down there? Puh-leeeez.
Right around the time that his “special day” approaches, the groundhog/marmot/partial squirrel assesses his projects. More often than not, he thinks to himself, I simply need more time to master this crocodile stitch – or – I am only one sleeve away from the finish. Can’t I just buy some more time? As February 2nd approaches, he knows what he has to do.
Six more weeks of winter, people. “I’ve got sweaters to finish.”
Granted, we are thrown an “early spring bone” here and there. Perhaps in those years, our beloved groundhog is satisfied with his progress. But let’s face it; he’s just like many makers out there. He takes on too much. Occasionally his projects languish. To get to the F.O., he has to make concessions, and his weather predictions are just that.
Six more weeks of winter? No.
Six more weeks to make sweaters? Yes.
Happy Groundhog Day from your favorite sweater propagandist, the groundhog.
Original Alpine Marmot Image: Arto Hakola | Getty
Make More Sweaters!