|Last Friday, I, like many of you, found myself unable to focus on sustained tasks.
As news of the Connecticut shooting broke, I was unable to look away. Parents leave their children at school, certain in the knowledge that they will pick them up at the end of the day, have dinner, make weekend plans.
I shifted between news accounts, small work tasks, and a bit of crochet I had just started working on to share with you all.
As I began to fail at the small tasks, I finally just gave myself over to the crochet. Its chart demanded that I focus only on it, changing from red to white and back again, pausing occasionally to let the yarns untangle. I watched as the president spoke to the nation, pausing occasionally to untangle his emotions.
I had this need to create something from nothing. To turn two balls of yarn into an unending circle. To fill the empty space.
As I worked the Scandanavian-inspired design, the starflakes morphed into hearts breaking. I persevered through the shape-shifting. The cowl is a gift for my daughter, who, along with my son, was large in my mind. Even as I wrote that sentence, my son called. I kept him on the phone for longer than his usual one minute, grateful to hear his voice. He is very nearly an adult. I cannot fathom not having known him in his childhood.
|There is so little we can do to help those in pain because of the shooting. For me, likely for you, this intertwining of loops is the best we can do. In this moment.
As I crocheted through Friday afternoon, the story was still unfolding, accounts varying with every network and every newspaper.
Today, we see their smiling faces and our hearts continue breaking.
Hugs to you all,