by Kat Marie Williams
I chose the title “Incognito Me” in imagining someone requesting to be costumed, and thought the “Me” part would charm the Ed. at Crochet me. Bootie-kisser I am, so long as it ends in fun. [Ed. note: I was charmed.]
The inspiration for the pattern came from the goodie bin at my son’s pediatrician’s office. He stuck in his thumb and pulled out a plum… no, wait… wrong story. He reached into the goodie bin and pulled out a flimsy set of Groucho Marx glasses. You know, those things with the plastic nose and moustache attached. I put them on and yelled at my son, “Hahhhh chachacha!” and then yelled, “AHA!”, as I lightbulbed a crochet project from the experience. And people looked at me funny. And I thought, “Well, whatever. Look at me any way you want, but I get to make a super-dorky project, and y’all can’t stop me.” [Ed. note: I was also charmed by the use of “lightbulb” as a verb.]
- Lion Brand Jiffy – 1 skein of Black, 1 skein of Camel, plus 1 skein of any brand and color of eyelash yarn
- 10.0mm (size N) crochet hook for hat & nose
- 6.5mm (size K) crochet hook for brows & moustache
Gauge doesn’t much matter, as the back of the hat can be adjusted with an added drawstring if necessary. The hat is large enough so that long hair can be stuffed up into it.
Mark the beginning of each round with a piece of scrap yarn or stitch marker.
Popcorn – 5 dc in st, drop lp from hook, insert hook in top of first dc of group, pull dropped lp through, ch 1.
Ch 4, join with slip stitch to form a ring. Ch 1, work 6 sc in ring. Join with slip stitch to first sc. Ch 1.
Rnd 1: Work 2 sc in each sc around (12 sc total). Join with slip stitch. Ch 1.
Rnd 2: Work sc in first sc, 2 sc in next, *sc in next sc, 2 sc in next sc. Repeat from * to end (18). Join with slip stitch. Ch 1.
Rnds 3-4: Repeat rnd 2, ending rnd 4 with sc in last st. (40) Ch 1.
Rnds 5-6: Work sc in each sc around (40). Join with slip stitch. Ch 1.
Rnd 7: Sc in each of first 2 sc, 2 sc in next sc,*sc in each of next 2 sc, 2 sc in next sc. Repeat from *, ending with sc in last sc (53). Join with slip stitch. Ch 1.
Rnd 8: Work sc in each sc around (53). Join with slip stitch. Ch 1.
Rnd 9: Work sc in each of first 3 sc, 2 sc in next sc, *sc in next 3 sc, 2 sc in next sc. Repeat from *, ending with sc in last st (66). Join with slip stitch. Ch 1.
Rnd 10: Work sc in each sc around (66). Join with slip stitch. Ch 1.
Rnds 11-18: Repeat rnd 10.
Now we make the glasses!
Rnd 19: Sc in next 51 sc, turn. RSC in next 15 sc. Join to first sc. Ch 11, sc in 7th RSC from hook, ch 11, sc in 7th RSC from hook, turn. Work 11 sc in ch-11 space, sc in sc, work 11 sc in ch-11 space. Do not turn.
Rnd 20: Work Sc in next 2 sc, *skip 1 sc, sc in next sc. Repeat from * to edge of glasses. Sc around edge of glasses.
Fasten off, weave in ends.
Make a nose!
Turn hat upside down with glasses facing you. Find the center stitch of the glasses and count five stitches to the right. Attach Camel yarn, ch 1, and sc in back loop only of same st and next 10 sts. Sl st to first st of nose to form circle. Ch 1.
Rnd 1: Working around nose circle, sc in each of next 2 sts, hdc in each of next 2 sts, dc in each of next 3 sts, hdc in each of next 2 sts, sc in each of last 2 sts. Join with sl st, ch 1.
Rnd 2: Repeat rnd 1.
Rnd 3: Work sc in next sc, popcorn in next sc, hdc in each of next 2 sts, dc in next st, tr in next st, dc in next st, hdc in each of next 2 sts, popcorn in next st, sc in next st, sl st in next st.
Fasten off. Weave in ends, taking care to keep nose straight.
Holding black yarn together with a strand of eyelash yarn, ch 8 with 6.5mm (K) hook.
Row 1: Sc in 2nd chain from hook, sc in each ch to end.
Fasten off, leaving a long tail to sew eyebrow to hat. And, well, sew it to the hat (over an eye hole, of course). Make another one and sew it over the other eye hole.
Make a moustache!
Holding black yarn together with a strand of eyelash yarn, ch 15 with 6.5mm (K) hook.
Row 1: Sc in 2nd chain from hook, sc in next ch, hdc in each of next 2 ch, dc in each of next 2 ch, sl st in next ch, dc in each of next 2 ch, hdc in each of next 2 ch, sc in each of next 2 ch.
Fasten off, weave in ends. Sew moustache to nose.
Weave in any loose ends, fluff the brows and ‘stache, put it on and go scare someone!