There Are a Lot of Resources That Teach You How to Fix Knitting Mistakes. This Isn’t One of Them.

None of us are immune to yarn disasters. Whether it’s a common knitting mistake like a dropped stitch or something more epic, we’ve all been there. At Interweave, we try to learn from knitting mistakes and hopefully pass on that knowledge. We also know when to give up, give in, and admit that whatever we are working on sucks and should be set on fire to end the misery. Sometimes we ourselves are the perpetrators: we misread directions, left out a crucial step, or DIDN’T CHECK GAUGE. Other times our knitting is defeated by outside forces, like washing machines, toxic solvents, or cats. Actually, a lot of time it’s cats.

Misery loves company, so we know we are not alone in our failures. A few years ago NPR did a great story about writing your autobiography in only 6 words. Since I’m shameless (and on deadline), I asked Interweave staff to share their worst yarn disasters by distilling them into 6 words. Many of these should feel hauntingly familiar, while others contain their own special horror. Read on.

Your Worst Knitting/Crochet Nightmare in 6 Words

Baby blanket soaked in roach killer.

Ex-boyfriend put wool hat in dryer.

The gauge is close enough, right?

Google search: my dog ate yarn?????

Restarted project at least 20 times.

Two left fronts: epic frogging ensued.

I’d need to gain 150 pounds.

Sock wouldn’t go on my foot.

Handknit socks. Dad machine-washes everything.

Cat helps block shawl. Not pretty.

Many beers. Frogging in the morning.

Cat chews cobweb yarn and vomits.

Knit socks for amputee (didn’t know!).

Gorilla-arm sleeves fit for mutant.

Crocheting on treadmill: big sweaty fail.

We want to hear from you! Submit your own 6-word knitting or crochet disaster in the comments section of this blog then head over to our Facebook post to share your witty remarks with all your fellow knitters. That’s right! Double the chance to win and double the laughs.

We’ll choose our favorites to feature in a subsequent article on Facebook and in our blog, and the most cringe-worthy will win a special mystery prize! (Probably some yarn that’s on Meghan Babin’s desk, but it will still be cool. We promise!)

—Allison

We can’t save you from cats, washing machines, or clueless family members, but we CAN help you avoid some knitting mistakes in the first place.